Harmonica dryer! ~ The SlingBaron Harmonica Dryer! ~ A "breakthrough product!"

Description

Introducing the extraordinary
SlingBaron Orbital Harmonica
Dryer!
This is the world's
first
harmonica dryer!
And there is no
other product that does
what
SlingBaron
does...
...and there won't be
for the next 20 years
because
SlingBaron
is protected by
US Patent 10127898
!
During 150 years of harmonica playing, no harp
manufacturer
has ever produced a
"harmonica dryer!"
Can you guess
why?
We know
why!
To learn, keep reading...
QUESTION:
In which
category
of
musical
instruments
does
the
harmonica
appear at the TOP of the list?
ANSWER:
Of all the
musical instruments,
the
harmonica has the
SHORTEST LIFE! ☹️
The harp's
lifespan is short
because it is nearly
imposible
to
"service"
the harmonica!
▸
You can't just "pop the hood"
▸  A harp has no drain plug
▸  A harp has no filters
▸  You can't easily reach inside to clean it
A leading harp manufacturer introduced its
Harmonica "Maintenance Kit"
for
9.95!
Did YOU buy it?
Nobody did! Music distributors dropped it!
FACT:
Most
diatonic
owners
perform
no
"service"
at all!
They just play their harps
until they
FAIL
!
And
when one dies, they
replace it with
a
BRAND NEW
ONE in that same key!
Premature harmonica deaths
are the #1 reason
new harmonicas are purchased!
Failed harps
must be replaced...and quickly!
This is
TERRIBLE
for us players,
but it is
GREAT
for the harmonica MAKERS!
Ka-ching, Ka-ching,
Ka-ching!
This is why the
SlingBaron
was invented:
Players needed something better that would
get OUT
everything that
goes IN!
Did a Harp MAKER produce a
centrifugal force
product
that would
get OUT
what
goes IN?
NO!  ...but thankfully a 73-year-old player did!
Here's a short list of the "stuff" that
gets
INSIDE
the
harmonica, and
unless you remove
it, the
instrument is going to fail prematurely!
▸ Moisture
▸ Saliva
▸ Mucous
▸ Food particles
▸ Bacteria
▸ Dead skin cells
▸ Sugar
▸ Enzymes
▸ Minerals
▸ and more...
These materials
"build-up"
inside your
harps, and they
cause it to
fail!
Banging
(the only method of
"
removal"
for 100
years
)
is simply
TOO WEAK
to do the job!
And
you know that
BANGING HARDER
will cause
damage. Banging creates
SHOCK WAVES that
cause
reed deformation!
Only the
SlingBaron
will
DRAIN THE SWAMP
that
develops inside your
harmonica!
SlingBaron
generates
an
enormous
centrifugal force
(
CF
)
that
dislodges
and ejects
the trapped saliva and debris.
CF
delivers huge G-forces, and they
are not
"jarring"
the way
banging is!
Once you begin "
orbiting" your harmonicas
instead
of banging them, the
reed concussions
STOP!
FACT:
Banging has always been a
poor
method
for
saliva ejection!...but it is
the
only method
!
....
until NOW! 😄
Banging removes only
40%
of what's
trapped inside!
The
60%
that remains
after
banging
begins the
slow destruction
of your harps!
You know
this is TRUE, and
this is
why
you
never blame the manufacturer
when your harps FAIL!
Corrosive saliva
is a mild
acid that
slowly
decomposes
the brass alloy! Saliva leaches
the
ZINC from the brass
leaving a "spongy
copper" in its place!
As molecules
exit the
brass plates and the brass reeds,
the
critical
dimentions
CHANGE
, and the "
countdown"
to a failure begins.
THE RESULT:
A
SWAMP
of rotting organic
material
grows
inside your
harmonica! That's
why
they
"smell."
The
SWAMP
damages
the critical parts
that make the sweet music!
AUTOPSIES
are not performed when
harmonicas
die!
That's
because their
death
is expected!
Harp manufacturers
are
never
blamed
when
their
products FAIL because
players
know the
SWAMP
eventually WINS!
(Ford and General Motors
would love
to be free
of
the
culpability that
harp manufacturers enjoy!)
Harmonica BATHS are tried and usually they are
never repeated.
That's because it takes
FOREVER
to clear the harp
of the rinse water!
But not with the
SlingBaron!
Remove the paper
Moisture Blotter
and head
outdoors to orbit your dripping wet harmonica!
SlingBaron's
18Gs will eject all
the rinse
water
in
just 30 seconds!
...and without any
banging
,
blowing
and
drawing!
The inventor made a VIDEO of the 1st time he used
the
SlingBaron
to eject the rinse water after a bath.
You can watch the VIDEO on Youtube. All 20 NOTES
played after just 30 seconds of
orbiting!
Once you have the
SlingBaron
, you can easily
bathe five
harmonicas at a time!
Bathing might
make them
last
three times longer!
TWO QUESTIONS:
Does Black & Decker want its coffee
pots
to last forever?
NO!
Do the harmonica
manufacturers want
their harps to last forever?
NO!
Premature harp failures
guarantee
future harmonica SALES!
SlingBaron's
inventor, a 73-year-old player
for 55 years,
analyzed
harmonica
failures
!
He
believed
their
premature death
is preventable!
He was certain that
centrifugal force
would be
the
ultimate
solution
to "reverse" the instrument's
short life!
The prototypes he built in his basement
proved that
CF
is vastly superior to
banging!
Trumpets have a
"spit valve"
that drains
the saliva
and
debris. "Pro" trumpets cost
,500 and up,
so they
are far from disposable!
Acidic
saliva corrodes brass,
so the saliva
must
be removed!
And it easily drains from
the
trumpet,
but removing it from the
harmonica
is almost impossible!
....until NOW!
The inventor predicted that several
harmonica
autopsies
would reveal
4
causes
of death:
▸  Chemical corrosion that
decomposes
brass!
▸
Saliva that
remains inside
after
banging!
▸
Debris "build-up"
that is very difficult to remove!
▸
Deformation
of the reeds from banging's
constant SHOCKS!
The banging method FAILS to address all four causes!
(A case could be made that banging produces all four!)
Do you
"AIR-DRY"
your harmonicas
after banging?
Of course!
Well, here's another
service issue
the inventor aims
to
challenge! The leading m
anufacturer says to allow
your harmonica to
"air dry"
after banging it.
This makes perfect sense, right?
Yes, but
"air-drying" is seriously flawed!
And
when you
hear the answer, you're gonna kick yourself!
Human saliva contains several
solids
that are
suspended in the saliva!
Do SOLIDS evaporate?
NOOOOO!
So where are these
SOLIDS
after
your
harmonica
has
"air-dried?"
Saliva
is very
much like
pond water
! It's got
loads of
"junk" in it,
and some of that "stuff" is dirt,
organic material, and
minerals which are
SOLIDS!
Suppose you are camping. Would you rinse your
plates in
pond water
and put
them in the drain
rack to dry?
I hope not!
The dirt, fish feces, minerals, pesticides and metals
are SOLIDS, and they won't
EVAPORATE!
They will
be
deposited
on your dinner plates!
When you
"Air-dry"
your harmonicas:
▸  T
he
liquids
evaporate ↗︎
▸  The
solids
remain inside and
become
damaging deposits!
↘︎
Now you know
why
"air-drying" is
flawed!
...but you must do it anyway!
Did the manufacturers ever mention
these
solids?
Nope!
SlingBaron's
inventor
told
you
about
them!
Look, the
solids
must be
ejected
before
your
harp dries!
The
SlingBaron
does this!
Banging fails to do this!
When players bang their harps on their bluejeans
and see
a few
wet spots
, they THINK that banging
has
succeeded!
NO! We've been fooled! Banging has failed!
Banging leaves
60%
of
the saliva
and solids
inside your harp!
And
the
SWAMP
loves the latest contributions!
Corrosion by saliva degrades
the
brass. The dimentions
of
critical
parts get altered, and the deposit of
solids
alter
the critical "machined
tolerances."
And over time, the many hundreds of
"strikes"
banging
makes to
dislodge the
saliva repeatedly
SHOCKS
the paper-thin reeds! They
fatigue
, and
they
warp! ...and eventually some fail!
Do the manufacturers explain these events? Nope!
SlingBaron's
inventor did! The
manufacturers
recommend
"tapping the channels"
to removes
the moisture. But "tapping" does not work! And
lets be honest. Players do not
"tap"
their harmonicas,
they bang them!
Now you understand why
banging
is so bad
over
the long haul,
and why it is only
marginally helpful for the moment!
Banging has
ALWAYS
been
a
BAD METHOD,
but it is
the
only
method!
....until NOW!
An understanding of "
harmonica forensics"
will help you understand why
banging must
STOP
,
and why
centrifugal force
is the
replacement we've been waiting for!
The
science
reveals that both
banging
and
air-drying
are faulty
methods!
They contribute to
premature harmonica failure!
BREAKING NEWS!....
the
SlingBaron
Orbital Harmonica
Dryer
has come
to the rescue of
the musical
instrument
with the
shortest lifespan
!
SlingBaron
completely overcomes all 4 of
those
forensic
"demons," which is why
orbited
harmonicas last
twice as long!
And if you give them baths,
they might last
THREE TIMES AS LONG!
(Pssst!...Therefore, don't
expect the harp MAKERS
to applaud
the arrival of
the SlingBaron!)
If you are a serious harmonica player
who
owns
harps in several keys and also
carries "back-ups" in case of failures, you
will save
HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS
after
spending only
.95 for the
SlingBaron!
How?....
because
you will
cut
your"replacement
harmonica"
purchases IN HALF
!
Therefore, the
SlingBaron
actually
"
PAYS FOR ITSELF!"
The very 1st
harp you DO NOT
replace
covers
your entire
SlingBaron
purchase,
so the
SlingBaron
actually costs
NOTHING!
Just
7 seconds of
25 mph
orbiting
in
the
SlingBaron
ejects all
the saliva
and
solids! The
SWAMP
never gets
started
because you
always
GETTING
OUT
everything that
GOES IN!
A showdown between CENTRIFUGAL FORCE
and
BANGING
would
be like a
TUG-OF-WAR
contest
between
an
ELEPHANT
and a
rabbit
!
(
18Gs
vs
2Gs)
Who will win every time?
The
SlingBaron
absolutely
CRUSHES
banging's
feeble 2Gs
that
are too weak to
break saliva's
grip
!
Saliva at 2Gs means the saliva
is only
twice as "heavy"
during banging.
But
SlingBaron's
25 mph orbits
make the saliva
18 times
"heavier,"
and the
strong grip saliva makes
is
broken
, and
out it comes with the solids still in it!
TADA! Your
harmonica
is
cleared
of its
contaminants,
and all the
banging
is
eliminated!
(The reeds are SCREAMING,
"STOP RATTLING OUR CAGE!"
but you cannot hear them because the yelling is 30,000 Hz!)
The Patent Office is pretty stingy
with its
US Patents!
Only one in ten patent
applicants gets one!
It has no
microprocessor
, no LEDs, no printed
circuit board, and no power supply,  but the
SlingBaron
managed to receive
US
Patent
#10127898 because
it proved to be
ingenious
,
totally NEW
,
and extremely
beneficial
to
harmonica
players world wide!
It's because
SlingBaron
is the REAL DEAL!
Its performance is OUTSTANDING!
What are you waiting for? BUY IT NOW!
Diatonic harp players cannot afford to
be without the
SlingBaron!
The
SlingBaron
is so well designed and
constructed that it
should
last forever!
And you only need ONE
SlingBaron
!
Plus
SlingBaron
comes with an amazing
GUARANTEE
that if you
do not like
it for
ANY
REASON
,
you will receive a
FULL REFUND
of your purchase
price! ...
and.....
(drum roll.....)
you
DO
NOT
NEED
TO
RETURN IT
to get your FULL REFUND! 😲
You don't have to go to the Post Office
and purchase stamps!...because you do
not need to return it to get your REFUND!
All
you must
do to receive a FULL REFUND
is
"decommission"
your
SlingBaron
according
to our instructions,
and then
email your
photo of your
"decom
missioned"
SlingBaron!
(We can offer this most unusual guarantee because
our customers will be USING their SlingBarons!)
We have removed ALL THE RISK from
the SlingBaron purchase!
Therefore, your .95
S
lingBaron
purchase
with
free
shipping
is a
NO-BRAINER!
(FREE SHIPPING is for
domestic
customers
only
!
International
customers
must pay the
SHIPPING COST!)
So scroll back up and
BUY IT NOW!
Your harmonicas are going
to love
their NEW RIDE!
******************************
Attention
INTERNATIONAL
BUYERS
!
If you are
unhappy with your
SlingBaron
purchase,
you also
may
also receive a
FULL
REFUND
of your PURCHASE
PRICE
,
but
what you paid for
SHIPPING
cannot
possibly be
refunded for obvious reasons.)